I went to the cemetary today...

Today I found myself standing in front of my Grandaddy's grave. I hadn't been to his grave since the last day of his funeral. That was in July of 2001. At first I just stood there, reading the name of my deceased grandfather. Without any hesitation on my part, I began to cry. I was flooded with emotion. I realized at that exact moment how much I truly missed my Grandaddy. Some might think it odd or weird, but I began to talk to him. I told him how I was sorry about not coming to visit him sooner. I told him how I have grown up into a man now and that everyone says I look a lot like him. I talked about how I was thankful for the man he raised who would become my father and that I only hoped I could be half the man the two of them were and are. I told him how I'm just one big indesive mess and how all I want is to make my family proud. I explained that I'm still not sure exactly what I want to do in life, but I'm working on it. I told him how I'm still single and trying to be patient and wait for "the one" but that sometimes I just get impatient and wish she was in my life now...and who knows?...maybe she is? I even told him that I'm still playing the drums and I enjoy it a lot. I even told him that mom and grandmama were doing fine and that Miranda has grown up into a woman and that he wouldn't believe how fast Kortney was growing up. I also told him about how I just took a trip to California and how well Aunt Sue was doing. I also told him that Uncle Leon had to go to the hospital, but to my knowledge he was doing better. Before leaving, I told him I loved him and missed him. I told him I wished he was still alive because now I have questions I'd like to ask him. Things I would like to hear him tell me. But I know that everything works in God's timing and that it was ok. I pressed my hand over his name plate and said, "Goodbye Grandaddy," and started to walk away. Before leaving, I noticed a registry. So I wrote his name down and said, "I miss you and love you Grandaddy," and then left. I really do miss that man. He was a great man. He left a huge impression on my heart and I love him so much. I just wish he was alive to see the man that I have become and that I'm still becoming. I wish that my future children would have had the chance to have met such a great man. I know he is in Heaven and I cannot wait to see him again. I love you Grandaddy.