Christmas time is hhheeeeerrree!!!

Merry Christmas everyone! I cannot believe Christmas is already here. It seems like just yesterday it was Halloween! Christmas is probably my favorite holiday of the whole year...and not just because of the gift getting. Most of my favoritism for Christmas stems from the nostalgia I get during this time of year. I always remember what Christmas was when I was a child. It was about pulling out the tree, putting on ornaments while listening to Christmas music, wearing sweaters, singing songs, watching Rudolph and Frosty the Snowman, and being with family. I never really thought I would miss that stuff when I was younger and gradually got older. When I was a teenager I felt it was kind of lame. Well...not lame...just a lot of hassle I guess. I still enjoyed Christmas when I was a teenager, but I think I felt like I was being a child during those years. Now that I am a young adult, I find myself missing the times I had when I was a kid. I don't want to go back in time or anything, but I want Christmas to feel like Christmas again. Now don't get me wrong, today definitely felt like Christmas, but as I have now entered adulthood and no longer live with my parents...well...the events leading up to Christmas day are no longer there. I did try to rekindle some of that feeling though this year. One night Alanna and I put up the Christmas tree, and I enjoyed doing that so much. What once felt like a chore had now felt like something that had to be done, and I'm so glad it did. All I know is that I cannot wait until I one day have children so that I can instill the traditions and feelings of togetherness that my parents and family have instilled in me over these twenty-three years. And more importantly than that, I cannot wait to show my future children that the true meaning of Christmas is the birth of Jesus Christ who was sent to Earth by Lord the Father so that our sins may be forgiven and we may live with Him in eternity. It all comes down to that baby in the manger, and I am so thankful for that gift.

I am man?

As a man I am constantly trying to figure out just what it is to be a man. The stereotype of a man is one that drinks beer, plays golf, and only thinks about women and sex. The media protrays the perfect man as a guy who is chisled, has a square jaw, thick hair, no body hair, and stern yet warming look with their eyes. The latter, I feel, is what most men in my generation feel is the definition of a man. This piece of eye candy that may or may not have any emotional value. These men protrayed by today's media, film, and television are the type of men that get all the ladies, and how could you blame me or my fellow males for thinking this way? Whenever Brad Pitt or Taylor (whatever his last name is...dude from Twilight) walks on the screen, most, (if not all), women gasp...some even yell! If a man does this to a woman appearing on screen, then we are labeled as "pigs." It would appear that the shoe is now being worn on the other foot, and I feel that this is causing men to remain boys and not strive to find what it is to be a true man. But, if you were to ask a man what he feels is a "manly man" then you may be surprised at what you hear. Some will say a lumberjack, others a sailor, some may even say a soldier. Most men want to be men. We want to be able to grow our beards out, build natural muscle, and most importantly, be ourselves. Sure we want to be macho, but we also want to be a little sensitive. Now I know some guys reading this may be like, "Dude...I do not want to be girly," and I'm not saying that you do, I'm simply saying that most guys want to show that they do, infact, care. Being a man doesn't mean being a jerk. It doesn't mean treating women like objects. It doesn't mean hiding behind a fake mask that you put up to hide your true self. Being a man is being yourself, being emotionally there for someone, being a protector, and being emotionally and even physically strong for someone. Being a man means being in tune with the world around you and not falling into stereotypes. I'm a man. I do not drink, I don't play golf, I do like football, I don't only think about women and sex all day, I enjoy being outside, I want to provide for someone one day, I want to protect, and I want to encourage and lift up those around me. I want to be myself, but sadly I have to battle with insecurity. I would like to say I blame the media and film for my insecurities, but that would be a crutch and a copout and I refuse to say that. It is my fault I am insecure because I allow myself to buy into what they say. I'm balding, I have a beard, and I'm not chisled...and I can't help those things. I mean, I could get hair implants, shave, and work out like...40 hours a week, but then what? Is that me being me? I mean sure, I would like to workout more, sometimes I think about shaving, and having more hair would be nice...but doing those things won't make me a man. I refuse to believe that because I am not a "pretty boy" means I am not a man. I'm not a Ken doll and I never will be. I am Jeremy. I am a man who, like all men, is on a journey discovering exactly what that means...and that journey is far from over.