Hi, welcome to Walmart...

Hello person that is reading this! So something exciting has happened in my life lately...I got a job! I know right!? I'm pretty excited about it. I was starting to lose hope, but one day I got a call on my cell and on the other end was someone wanting to set up an interview with me. Two interviews, a job offer signing, a background check and peeing in a cup later...I'm now hired and I have orientation on Thursday! I am so blessed and thankful to have a job now. Oh, you're probably wondering what the job is right? Well I will be working in the grocery department at Walmart. I will be reshelving returns, stocking, and fixing up aisles. So yeah...I can't wait to start making money again lol. It was getting pretty rough trying to conserve gas in my truck. I realize I could have asked my Grandmamma for money at any time...but I really didn't want to do that all the time. I mean, I want to be as independant as I can. I realize that part of me not asking my Grandmamma for money was because of pride, but I mean...I don't know...I just didn't want to ask my Grandmother for money ok lol. Other exciting news: I got a new cell phone!

Yet another area in my life I have been blessed with. It is called the Alias 2 and it is from Samsung. It is a flip phone and also has a key pad. The buttons are also illuminated underneath by a screen. Basically it is awesome. My other cell phone served its purpose and now it is time for a new era...the Verizon era. Dang this phone is great. I actually get service! I can even call and text as clear as day. So text and call me whenever you want and I'll be sure to reply! (And if you need my number...just ask lol).

Now that I have a job...I can now start buying things again. (Don't worry...I won't like splurge my entire check. Since losing my job I have learned I need to be responsible with my money). All I know is I cannot WAIT to buy a CD again. And I am pretty sure Owl City's newest album "Ocean Eyes" is going to be my first purchase. It is a little different then what I normally listen to, but I like it a lot. The music is classified as electonica-pop and I like it. His lyrics are pretty catchy and so are the rhythms. I've been trying to branch out and listen to different stuff again and I think Owl City has come at just the right time.

So yeah, that pretty much sums everything up I think lol. Talk to ya later...PEACE!

The mind is a powerful thing...

My sister told me something valuable today. She told me, "Jeremy. In order to seem positive, you need to think positive. Stop saying you're stupid, fat, balding, or whatever is you say and start saying and thinking positve things about yourself. You need to love yourself." Ok, so that isn't EXACTLY how she said it, but I think you get the basic principle of the idea. I have heard this several times actually. Not directed necessarily at me but to people in general. I stopped and thought for a moment, and I do think and say negative things about myself. When I do something I immediately regret, I call myself stupid. I hate that my hair is receding, and I constantly draw attention to it to myself or joke about it to others. I wouldn't say that everything I think about myself is negative, but there definitely are a lot of times when I do. I seriously need to start loving myself. Not to the extent that I become an egotistical "insert your own word here" but just to the point that I can see positive things about myself. I noticed too that when I do see the positives in my life, I do, in fact, reflect that positiveness outwardly. It shouldn't be a secret (or come as a surprise) that there has been something weighing heavily on my mind lately, and that thing is still constantly in the back of my mind every single day. From the moment I wake up, to the last thought I have before going to bed, I think about it. I come up with scenarios putting me on the wrong end of the outcome because, well, I can't seem to find positive qualities in me that would make the outcome turn out any better. I mean, I CAN find good qualities about myself...I'm just worried that I'm not showing those qualities. I don't know...this all makes sense in my head haha. All I know is this: I'm going to stop calling myself stupid when I mess up and I'm going to stop focusing on my hairline and just focus on the great things in my life. I need to tell myself things like, "Hey...maybe I am a good drummer." Or even, "You're not as fat or bald as you may think Jeremy," and then maybe I won't have such a negative view of myself as often as I do...and then others will see that as well.

Spontaneous? What does that mean?

I don't like to get out of my comfort zone. I prefer things to be familiar with me. I would much rather have a routine for my day then have something spontaneously thrown into my daily plans. However, this is a boring way to live life and I am finally realizing this. I have always had this "play it safe" attitude and, well, it is pretty lame. I have been trying to assert myself and even trying to become more outgoing. It may sound silly, but one way I've been doing this is by actually answering answers in class. Back in the day I would just sit and wait for someone else to answer, but call it a change of living or even annoyance, but if I know the answer, I now try to answer it myself instead of waiting. Some of you reading this might think, "Ok...what is the big deal? I answer questions in class all the time." Well that may be true for you, and maybe you've never had a problem with speaking out, but I do. I actually remember the first time I ever stood up for myself in a classroom setting. It was about a year ago in my Accounting II class. My teacher accused the class of cheating on their homework and gave an automatic zero to the students she suspected of doing so. Naturally I was paranoid this meant I was part of this group of students, and soon time would confirm that feeling. She handed me my homework that had an "F" written in red circled at the top and the words, "You cheated" written beside it. Never in my life had I felt so angry. Not only was it an "F" but I was also accused of cheating. Immediately I called her out and told her I hadn't cheated. Her thought process was that we were just looking up the answers and writing them down. I told her I had checked my answers, as one would do in a math class, and had gone back and corrected my work. She, along with everyone else in the class, was stuned to hear the kid in the back actually talk. She apologized to me, took up my homework, and corrected the grade to an "A" (I would have been fine with a "B" but hey...I wasn't going to complain). At that moment I realized something new about myself. I can be assertive and outgoing and be just fine. Now I'm not saying to yell at teachers (which I was careful not to yell) to get your way. That was just one example from my life that has caused me to work on the whole "play it safe" mentality that I have had my whole life this far. I'm not quite as outgoing as I would like to be, but I'm working on it. I don't want to be the quiet kid in the back anymore. I don't want to be the person that gets walked on all the time anymore. I want to be the type of person that works hard for what they want and isn't afraid to speak up when given the chance or truly needs to. Plus, being spontaneous can be fun. I don't want to be the person that tells his friends, "Nah...I'd rather sit and be alone watching television than go to a concert and have fun." That Jeremy is slowly being replaced...and I couldn't be happier about it.