On the brink of disaster?....

I'm setting myself up for disaster. The sad part of it is I know this and I cannot, and will not, stop myself. It may seem odd to you that I do not plan on stopping myself and I do not blame you for feeling that way. You see, I constantly set myself up for doom. I have been doing this for a while now and there seems to be no end in sight. I like to do this thing where I imagine a scenario. I play this scenario over and over again in my head; coming up with different endings/conclusions and different ways in which it will all pan out. Generally the scenerio starts out simple and may even have a good ending. Progressively this changes. The endings begin to become negative and the scenarios start having me come out on the bad end of things. Now I'm not saying that I am a depressed person (so stop worrying) I am just simply letting you into my head. I feel the reason for these negative thoughts is because I seem to keep getting the wrong end of the stick. Right now I'm having a few issues in my life and I just wish that one really good thing would come my way. I cannot get a job. I get nervous every time I check my bank balance. I always wonder how I'm going to afford gas and sometimes even how I'm going to feed myself. There is another little issue I'm going through...but I'm not going to leak that onto the internet [plus it is the main reason I'm writing this blog and why I feel like I'm setting myself up for disaster...so if you really want to know...you'll have to ask me personally...sorry bro]. Sometimes its just my parnoia getting the best of me...and I hate that about myself. I'm not saying that I lack confidence, but with constantly having bad things happen to me...it has become increasingly difficult to have self esteem. There is, however, something that has been making me assert myself. Something that has been making me want to reach my goals in life and actually work hard to do so. What is so awesome to do this to me? What could possibly make me reach down within myself and pull out such drive and determination? Well, the reason for this blog is the "what." I'm sorry I cannot give more information than that. I mean, I would really love to just let everything out...but I cannot do that. Doing so would automatically end disastrous and I just cannot handle that right now. I want to just focus on how well things are going thus far and hope for the best in the end. Just know that the "something" is awesome and great. Once again I have written a sad blog and I apologize for that. Not everything in my life is sad or bad. I have a great family that I am so thankful for. I have great friends. And above all, I have a God and a Savior who both love me unconditionally...which is the single greatest thing in my life [and always will be]. With all that said, I am now going to go. I just hope that I am wrong this time and that perhaps what I want to happen will happen. I just cannot deal with disaster anymore...or at least for a while.

Happy happy, joy joy!...

A close friend once asked me, "Jeremy, what makes you happy?" And at first I responded by naming off friend's names, I talked about family and was about to keep going when she stopped me and said, "No Jeremy, I asked WHAT makes you happy, not WHO makes you happy. You can't always put all of your happiness into people. People are human. People let you down. I'm your close friend and even I am possible of letting you down." This really struck me. Never before had I realized I was basing most of my happiness on people. I began really evaluating my life right at that second and searching for an answer to give her, and the answer was so obvious. Without much hesitation, I said, "Drums and music." I had never been more certain about anything in my life before (well...besides putting my faith and trust in Jesus). After saying that, I began realizing more and more that that statement was true. Whenever I talk to someone about playing the drums, creating music, or even just talking about a band I like, I get so excited and happy. Whenever I am in a bad mood, my drums are always there for me. Whenever I'm bored and feel lonely, I can put on a cd and just rock out. Now don't get me wrong, there are still a lot of people that make me happy and ultimately my joy comes from God, but I strongly feel that we should all have something we do that we can find some happiness in. So now I'm going to ask you like my friend asked me...what makes you happy?

The future freaks me out...

Lately I've been thinking about my future. More specifically, what I want to do when I finally graduate. I graduate from JSCC in May and then plan on transferring to Union. I'm not entirely sure how long I'll be at Union, but while I'm there, I plan on continuing to major in Business Administration but also minor in Music. Part of me also wants to somehow get involved with Marketing, but we'll see how that goes. I know without a doubt that I want to do something in the Music Business. I realize it is a hard industry to get into and work for, but I am pretty determined to get into it. In the beginning, I wanted to be a musician. I will always be a musician, that will never change, but it is a lot harder to get into the business as a musician. This is where the "thinking about my future" comes into play. There are a few things I've been thinking about (some that may seem outside my capacity of actually doing...but I still think about it nonetheless). The possibilities include: getting a job at an existing label, starting a venue, or even starting my own label. I think it would both be fun and challenging to start my own label. I don't know, I've actually been giving that one a lot of thought. I realize there is a lot of work that goes into making a label, but it is something I kind of actually want to do. I need to network. I need to find people that would want to do this with me. People that are good with marketing, accounting, recording, and...of course...musicians/bands. Jackson doesn't seem like the type of town that could give me all that I need (as in musicians...I mean...I'm sure there are good bands around here...just not the types that would fit the label I have in mind). So I would obviously have to go out and find musicians and maybe even (most likely) relocate (move) again. BUT this wouldn't happen for a while now. I may even want to try to work for a label first, learn exactly how everything works, and then start my own. I don't know, all I DO know is that I want to work in the Music Business, and just the thought of starting a label excites and scares me. So yeah, just something I've been thinking about for...er...a few months now?

New Beginnings...

Hello everyone that reads this! So lately I've been blogging like...feelings and stuff...so I thought I should write a blog telling you about what has been going on in my life as well! Summer has officially come to an end...which means school has officially begun once again. I started my fifth year of college on the 31st of August and I've almost made it through the first month. So far...so good. I'm taking mostly entry level courses (ok...they are all entry level courses) and they aren't too bad. Actually, I don't know if you remember me telling you about a woman I nicknamed "Blurty" or not...but basically she was a woman who had "word vomit" every nite in my classes the past year and a half I've been at Jackson State. Well, she is no longer in any of my classes...however...she has been replaced by a new woman. I haven't come up with a clever nickname for her yet...and I'd like to keep her identity a secret...so I'll just call her "Woman who likes the sound of her own voice" yeah...that seems to fit. In a sick twisted way...I kind of miss Blurty *sigh*...ok...moving on. I am still creating musical fusion with Rhett and Kyle and it is still a lot of fun to jam with those guys. We've come up with our own version of "Rapper's Delight" and I gotta say...it is dang awesome! (Of course...I am a little biased in saying that). What else has happened...well...I'm still unemployed...which sucks. I keep putting in applications though, so hopefully someone will take a chance on me and call me in for an interview soon...I really really REALLY need gas money. Ok, enough of that. Along with playing with the guys, I've also been playing a lot more on my own! I've been learning some Hendrix, trying to play along with Rush, and playing some Gov't Mule and Derek Truck's Band stuff for The Danger Toxic Fumes, but I've also been trying to learn all the Paramore songs. I don't know, I really like Paramore's drum beats...they are a lot of fun to play. I've been working on my phrasing for drum solos and stuff too, and I can already tell a difference. Oh! I've still been reading my books as well. I finally finished "A Tale Of Two Cities" not too long ago and now I am reading "The Sound and The Fury." Two completely different writing styles, but still fun to read. And I probably shouldn't admit this, but I'm going to go ahead and do it...I...Jeremy Lindsey...am now addicted to the show "Gossip Girl." That feels so good to get out in the open (haha!). I know what you're thinking, and no, I am not gay. It's just a lot of fun to watch the drama and character growth that happens in the show. I would just like to thank Alanna for getting me hooked on that show, and no, I'm not complaining :] Well, there you have it, that, in a nut shell, is what is happening in the life of Jeremy. Some things are interesting, some things make me seem gay, but in the end, I'm still the same guy...just going through some new things in life...Peace!