"Patience is a virtue"...

...is something that I have heard my whole life, and patience seems to be the one thing that God continually is teaching me. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am the type of person that likes to make lists, set schedules, and even plan ahead. I'm not much of one to do anything too spontaneous, however, there are times when I do things that are spontaneous and I enjoy it when it happens (like making random runs to Wal Mart to buy white slip on shoes). But I don't always enjoy being spontaneous...like when I decided to just up and move from Minneapolis without really thinking a few things through. But yeah, because I make lists and schedules and even plan ahead...I always feel that things have to happen at a certain time and if they don't, I usually get a little upset or even frustrated. Things that this include would be: getting somewhere on time, finishing up a project, and even running to the store. I like to know how long something may take to happen so that I can be ready. Now, I realize that somethings cannot be put on a time table, and those are the things that I am learning to be patient about. Finishing college would be a great example of what I am talking about. I am so ready to be finished with college. I am ready to put college behind me and move on with life and move on to the next chapter of my life. College wasn't supposed to last this long...I wanted to be done in four years and then do whatever was next. I wasn't expecting to be in my fifth year of college, possibly looking at two more years, and still not having a set plan for when I do FINALLY graduate. But, like I said before, I need to realize that there are things I have to be patient about and I need to just trust in the Lord because I know He has things under control....and I need to learn that I don't always have to be in control. I can also give another little example that has recently happened in my life...but I really don't want to type all of that out...and I don't think it is really a good time to talk about it (or something like that). But again, with the "unsaid" development, I am just learning to be patient and waiting to see if and when it will happen (I'm really hoping it will happen though haha). I'm also learning to not get my hopes up TOO high and I'm trying to realize that the scenarios I play in my head won't always happen the way I would like them too...but again...who knows? Maybe in time they will...I just need to be patient.

They always say, "Things come in threes"...

Today I attempted to mow the Kappa Delta yard on Union University's campus. Now some of you may know that in the past I have had "bad luck" mowing this yard...so why would today be any different? Instead of push mowing this beast of a yard (like I usually do) I thought I would borrow my Aunt and Uncle's riding lawn mower to ease the load. It took me a while to get it all loaded up, but soon enough I was on my way to Union. There, I got the lawn mower off the hitch and started...well...to mow! Everything was going great...until I had to move a branch. I got off the lawn mower, moved a few branches out of the way, and got back on. I forgot to take the lawn mower out of park before I put the blades back down...which led to me killing the engine. I called my Uncle Randy and he told me to try jumping it off (which I did) and after a while I was back in business. I finished the line I was mowing and turned to start the next line...when I hit the incline. Now, this sorority house is built on a slope/hill and at one point the slope is steep. The lawn mower tryed pulling a "Little Engine That Could" and it almost made it up...until it got stuck. So, I went in reverse, put the blades back down...but the blades wouldn't move. I turned the engine off, crawled underneath a little to find out what was wrong and decided just to go back to the house. I brought it back and my Uncle determined the belt that rotates the blades slipped off. After much trying, we got the belt back on and I thought, "Ok...I'll try this for the third time." I got back out there, started mowing, and all the sudden...SNAP!...the blade belt snapped. So the lawn continues to be the "Lawn from 'Heck'" and tomorrow I think I will go out and try to get it with the push mower. I just feel bad for snapping that belt on my Aunt and Uncle's lawn mower though :/

The Danger Toxic Fumes...

As a person, I love listening to music. As a musician, I love performing music. Lately I have been playing music with my friends Rhett and Kyle and Kyle's uncle Kenneth. We call ourselves "The Danger Toxic Fumes" and we have a lot of fun creating music together. The style of music we play is blues/classic rock and before meeting these guys, I never really played these two styles. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've played blues music before, just never voluntarily. In college it was something I HAD to do as a music major. The groups I played with in college seemed to have the same mentality, which didn't make it much fun to play. But these guys are different. These guys LOVE to play this stuff, and now so do I. It is so much more fun to play music with guys that have a passion for what they are playing. When someone is forced to play something they don't enjoy, then it shows. I know that may seem like an obvious statement...but it is true. Back in Minneapolis I was in a rock band, and I loved every minute of it. (Yes, even some of the creative arguments we might have had...it was all part of the process). I enjoyed playing shows and bringing joy to people just by simply hitting a drum. I've never been one to want any honors or accolades for my playing, just seeing a smile on someone's face and watching them enjoying themselves has always been enough for me. The Danger Toxic Fumes hasn't played a gig yet (we really want to though) and right now we are just having a lot of fun getting together and creating music, which is what it should always be about.

I went to the cemetary today...

Today I found myself standing in front of my Grandaddy's grave. I hadn't been to his grave since the last day of his funeral. That was in July of 2001. At first I just stood there, reading the name of my deceased grandfather. Without any hesitation on my part, I began to cry. I was flooded with emotion. I realized at that exact moment how much I truly missed my Grandaddy. Some might think it odd or weird, but I began to talk to him. I told him how I was sorry about not coming to visit him sooner. I told him how I have grown up into a man now and that everyone says I look a lot like him. I talked about how I was thankful for the man he raised who would become my father and that I only hoped I could be half the man the two of them were and are. I told him how I'm just one big indesive mess and how all I want is to make my family proud. I explained that I'm still not sure exactly what I want to do in life, but I'm working on it. I told him how I'm still single and trying to be patient and wait for "the one" but that sometimes I just get impatient and wish she was in my life now...and who knows?...maybe she is? I even told him that I'm still playing the drums and I enjoy it a lot. I even told him that mom and grandmama were doing fine and that Miranda has grown up into a woman and that he wouldn't believe how fast Kortney was growing up. I also told him about how I just took a trip to California and how well Aunt Sue was doing. I also told him that Uncle Leon had to go to the hospital, but to my knowledge he was doing better. Before leaving, I told him I loved him and missed him. I told him I wished he was still alive because now I have questions I'd like to ask him. Things I would like to hear him tell me. But I know that everything works in God's timing and that it was ok. I pressed my hand over his name plate and said, "Goodbye Grandaddy," and started to walk away. Before leaving, I noticed a registry. So I wrote his name down and said, "I miss you and love you Grandaddy," and then left. I really do miss that man. He was a great man. He left a huge impression on my heart and I love him so much. I just wish he was alive to see the man that I have become and that I'm still becoming. I wish that my future children would have had the chance to have met such a great man. I know he is in Heaven and I cannot wait to see him again. I love you Grandaddy.